74th Page

[ladybirdcrap]

You finally set off from the Bed & Breakfast with full tummies and high spirits. It's well into the mid afternoon, and you have a lot of ground to cover before the next landmark. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be possible for you sorry sons of bitches to make it there before sundown. On your way down the beaten path, you come across a dairy farmer's caravan of cheesy goods. They seem nice and homely enough, maybe they'll be willing to help you stragglers along the way.

[Mission: Hitch a ride from the dairy farmer]

Comments

[frogface]

Oi!

[rubs nose]

FAT CHANCE FROM A SLAG THAT CAN'T EVEN MAKE A PROPER PIZZA WELL INSTRUCTED! WHO FUCKS UP A PIZZA?

[sawedoff]

[dodged the shoe. sorry not sorry owen]

You tried to get a pizza in middle earth?

[frogface]

I was desperate. I mean roll of dough, sauce, meat, cheese. How do you fuck it up?

[sawedoff]

[shakes head. judging. and a little jealous he didn't think of it first, but clearly it was for the best]

Don't tell me. I don't want to ruin my last good memory of junk food.

[itd be like brushing your teeth right after eating something delicious and forgetting the taste.]

[frogface]

You missed out on the burger though.

[theburger]

[daydreams]

Nice little pub in some westend town. I nearly cried. Even the chips were properly crisp, a little off, but I could pretend....

[sawedoff]

[now he's jelly.]

I will push you off this cart.

[frogface]

[lmao]

Fat slab of meat juicy and cooked to perfection. A light tuft of lettuce, pickled tomatoes, a slab of aged cheese melted into the core of it.

[inenochian]

[ ditto. ]

[frogface]

I wished I could sew my ass shut, I didn't want it to go away.

[sawedoff]

[you are just. well you're a shining beacon for your people]

Thank you. Thanks for that.

[im going to fantasize about killing you to help me get to sleep for the next week]

[inenochian]

As a physician, wouldn't the potential for sepsis-

[pareidoll]

[Owen don't make me ashamed to be English right now. it's all i have.]

[sawedoff]

[tosses a jug at him with an eyebrow raise that says he wishes it was a live grenade instead]

Shut up and pour before I have to make an excuse for why you fell off the cart and got trampled by cows.

[oh my god cas sto[p]

[i want to switch carts]

[frogface]

Wot?

[seriously]

[holds bottle all offended before getting to work]

Don't be such a princess.

[sawedoff]

You're a princess.

[pouring..milk]

[frogface]

I remember yanks being more fun than a tipped ice cream cone.

[sawedoff]

[he had the fun beaten out of him 7 seasons ago]

You're not exactly living up to the James Bond british image either. And I can be...fun.

[waves milk bag for emphasis. he can. he..he can

he doesnt remember how anymore]

[frogface]

Well I did have a gun before you decided to borrow it permanently.

[pours

milk

sassily idk. this is grossing him out i imagine owen is allergic to anything that might be good for him. like milk. i mean its gross right]

Ain't seen you loosen up a bit unless short and sassy is takin' a ri....I

[stops short at the alarmed deathglare from Clara across the way.]

--I get it, yea, shit sucks. Take it more with a grain of salt, mate. You'll have a better time.

[sawedoff]

[yeah he was about to kneecap him for going there too thanks clara]

No, you're right. I'll remember to throw a party next time one of us almost doesn't make it out alive.

[makes a face during this milk transferring process. doesn't even begin to know what he's doing. probably holding it by the corners and trying not to splash it all over everybody but ends up getting it all over anyway because bumpy ride and he's not a farmer.]

[speaking of the gun and since he seems to have owens attention for more than 2 seconds]

--What's Torchwood, anyway?

[frogface]

[spills milk]

[not that milk but i guess that milk]

[opens mouth to speak with milk dripping down his arms]

Having fun going through my shit?

[sawedoff]

[wow way to be a fuckup and still continue to be gross]

[raises a suspicious eyebrow at him. overreact much]

Says it on the slide.

[frogface]

[goddammit jack why did he never notice that before]

[frogface]

Right.

[continues pouring milk]

[sawedoff]

["right". yeah. that's gonna fly]

So?

[usually he'd offer some ridiculous suggestions to help move the process along like you know, gay bar with its own firing range, but since owen flipped a shit when he brought it up he's not about to give him any outs]

[frogface]

[sighs]

Sure, fine I'll humor you. It's.....

[how do we sum this up without getting weird]

Research.