74th Page

[ladybirdcrap]

You finally set off from the Bed & Breakfast with full tummies and high spirits. It's well into the mid afternoon, and you have a lot of ground to cover before the next landmark. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be possible for you sorry sons of bitches to make it there before sundown. On your way down the beaten path, you come across a dairy farmer's caravan of cheesy goods. They seem nice and homely enough, maybe they'll be willing to help you stragglers along the way.

[Mission: Hitch a ride from the dairy farmer]

Comments

[sawedoff]

Torchwood. Research.

[you sound so shady right now. pinched eyebrows of annoyance]

This isn't twenty questions, jackass, you can give a straight answer.

[frogface]

[its fi ne, he's fine with shady]

It's not bloody worth your time, mate. Trust me.

[sawedoff]

[that's what they usually say before he finds out it was actually worth his time, but ok. sounds personal and he doesn't have any reason to push for it]

Okay. I don't know many book jockeys that are packing heat, but you do got the little nerdy guy look down.

[glances at permacardboard sam. he's the other one in the column]

[frogface]

[nerdy. offended]

Oi, give me a little more credit than that. It was field work. Doctor, remember? Lots of dead or not dead vile ass things, not nose deep in books. I'd have shot myself day one.

[waggles milk soaked hand like a cat hits himself in the eye]

[sawedoff]

[doctors are nerdy, sorry. leans away from the milk splatter. give me a little more credit says the guy rubbing milk in his eyes]

All right, calm down little dude, no one's saying you can't be nerdy and a badass. Why don't you watch where you're spraying the dairy?

[no need to get your pants all in a tizzy or whatever you brits say]

[frogface]

That's what...she...[no. he doesn't have it in him]

[squints a little as he pulls his hand away from his eye and blinks a few times]

This is all your fault.

[sawedoff]

It's my fault you just blinded yourself with cow juice?

[hey, he's fair game to blame, but let's be reasonable]

[frogface]

That we're on the bloody wagon. That you're deliberately distracting me.

Pick one.

[sawedoff]

Dude if you can't talk and handle your milk at the same time you need to hand over that club membership card.

[frogface]

Oi-

[pareidoll]

[trying not to giggle too loudly]

[frogface]

Oi

[points]

Just. Fuck you. Both of you.

[sawedoff]

[ok diana]

[looks across at clara who seems to be faring much better with her milk adventures]

Holding up?

[pareidoll]

Apparently. I can handle my milk far better than the two of you.

[she has a System involving a mcguyvered funnel]

[pauses at her own words]

Not sure what that says about me.

[sawedoff]

[ehh he figured it out eventually, he can contain his milk at least. still laughs quietly and wipes some of owens ineptitude off of his sleeve. he'll opt for the lesser traveled path of no innuendo because they have company]

Says you'll do even the crappiest jobs if it means you don't have to walk one more mile. That's the American way.

[stick with me sister i'll show you a whole new world
of channel surfing]

[pareidoll]

[cracks a smile and looks across the wagon at him. why are you being so chummy all of a sudden. not that im complaining. it's a good mood, but she knows better]

I just prefer to be clever. The American way comes with obesity and bad reality tv if my history serves me correct.

[no offense, you're adorable and neither of those things]

[sawedoff]

[he's Trying to move past things. how many times can she say sorry before he needs to just suck it up. he's not all the way there yet, but there's an effort.]

Sounds great to me. Sign me up.

[shit if he wasn't running for his life every day he'd probably be one rotund motherfucker]

[pareidoll]

[might as well take advantage of it]

[shakes her head and continues working idly]

Is that really how it was? Land of indulgence and opportunity.

[sawedoff]

Give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses and we'll make sure they stay that way. But hey, at least you can get a cheeseburger for a buck and some change.

[shrugs and passes his ghetto rigged jar off to cas so he can finish up. and he can't even be sassy about it because he's cardboard]

-Wait, was?

[what was. was what]

[pareidoll]

Yep.

[history be history, man. the only part that survived america was new york]

[pauses like maybe she shouldn't have said that]

Well....it's not around anymore, not where I'm from at least.

[she's probably in the clear. common sense about time travel]

[sawedoff]

[he thought she meant history like, how they study uk history separate from american history, not YOU'VE BEEN ABOLISHED HISTORY]

[a pause and then a groan, turning away in exasperation. this is the kind of reaction that says he's familiar with the time traveling bozo brigade but it doesn't mean he has to like it.]

What year?

[pareidoll]

A long enough ways if I've got your time pinned right.

[She'll keep it pc for him]

[sawedoff]

You got some feathers in your back pocket I don't know about or are you actually from... from the-

[it sounds too ridiculous to say from the future come on it sounds straight up scifi]

[also because if you have an angel deus ex machina for a bff we should totally set up a playdate or something i mean look at the poor guy he's funneling milk for farmers.]

[pareidoll]

[if only she had a girl angel of her own to stare at homoerotically]

The future?

[this is cute he can't even say it]

Yeah, I suppose I am.

[sawedoff]

So what, the Mayans just got the date wrong? Doomsday happens anyway?

[not to mention he's been banging a future chick this whole time and she never thought to bring it up that's something, that's. well]

Ok when I said we knew next to nothing about each other I figured you'd, you know, be adopted. Or be the antichrist, that's pretty run of the mill these days. Not be living on the Enterprise.