60th page

[loveboat]

Okay you little shits since you can't seem to get into one group again how about you get on the fucking boat

Once you have boarded the boat and set sail, you are free to explore. The captains cabin is offlimits, as is the brig, but the rest of the boat is available to all of the guests. For your pleasure, you will be provided with a honeymoon suite each, access to the dining hall and kitchen if you so please, or you might prefer to dine on the deck. There is also a lounge where a musician plays piano melodies. The entire boat is decorated garishly in pinks and purples, but there are also pieces of OBSCENE art that seem to celebrate the human (or otherwise) form displayed in every room, including the private cabins, public spaces, and anywhere else you might think to look.

There are also couples of every shape, size and gender everywhere you turn. They seem to be enjoying themselves, holding hands and making out like horny teenagers on every possible surface. At least you know what kind of PDA you're expected to live up to.

[ mission: couple off and fake it to make it
note: if your char has been fucking off while in town and hasn't met up with the group just assume dean sam or someone else found them and explained the plan to them ]

Comments

[inenochian]

[ not at all standing awkwardly in the line, watching hel's hand in dean's pocket or clara getting dragged aboard by hook.
sort of the only four people he's conversed with (except for the time he was husbands with bilbo).
Oh right. where's sam? ]

[satansuit]

[sam's late. had to do one last belle (then red) check.]

[spots castiel, hanging around, being awkward.]

Hey.

[claps hand on his shoulder, from behind.]


Everything okay, Cas?

[inenochian]

[ jumps a little. ]

[ congrats you just jumpscared the jumpscaringest angel in the garrison. ]

Sam, I -- [ looks back up the gangplank to see dean's arm around hel's waist now. can't see where hook and clara disappeared. ]

Yes, fine, except I--[ smacked into by the derek-shaped steamroller and dragged-along sookie as they board ]

[loveboat]

Welcome to the cruise! I hope you enjoy your time with us, you can get your room key from Harold my co-captain there.

[waves to a muppet thats being herded by honeymooners as they board]

[satansuit]

[no.]

[no, they're not. they're just not.]


[but there's no one else around. turns and smiles, practiced and polite, towards the captain.]

Thank you. We'll be sure to do that. I'm sure the wife and I will enjoy the cruise very much.

[if you ask what wife, so help him, cas.]

[inenochian]

[





]

[inenochian]

[ stands up a bit straighter, but dips his chin and looks up at sam with a surprisingly good approximation of clara's typical sweet but saucy face. ]

What wife is that? I know I've asked him a dozen times to say "husband."

[satansuit]

[rolls his eyes to the heavens. may have seen it on some Leave it to Beaver rerun as a kid.]

But wife has such a nice ring to it, don't you think?

[involves captain in good-natured marital squabbles. convincing right?]

[loveboat]

Oh, you two!

[cheesy sitcom smile and slaps at his chest]

Get a room.

[slaps sams butt and winks]

[satansuit]

[won't wink because his husband is watching, but shoots a playful look her way.]

[leads cas onto the boat. too easy.]

[inenochian]

[ follows on his heels with a look of utter relief.

participated in deception and didn't fuck it up. ]

[satansuit]

[sam's team is best team. never mind the awkward situation.]
[ and let's be honest, this beats the hell out of that time with bela's old lady friend. ]

[he'll have to congratulate cas later.]

[loveboat]

[youre a quiet couple arent you]

Room key, gentlemen.

[holds it out. it has the room number on a little keychain shaped like a penis.]

And complimentary lubrication.

[inenochian]

[ what keychain why what. are the cabins segregated by sexuality.

all homos bunking on the rainbow deck? ]

[ holds hand out for the key and the lubrication. ]

...Do the lock's tumblers stick?

[loveboat]

[confused muppet blink]

[loveboat]

[that you cant see because apparently hes blindfolded wow]

[kinky muppet]

[satansuit]

[ CAS CAS, YOU'RE FUMBLING THE BALL]

[HAS DEAN TAUGHT YOU NOTHING? WE WERE DOING SO WELL!]

[satansuit]

Give me that!

[throws lub over his shoulder. dramatic laugh.]

My husband. We bring our own lubricant. He doesn't know what to do with it when it's not flavored.

[inenochian]

[ watches the little container of lube fly overboard. ]

[loveboat]

[awkwardly smiles and nods before turning away]

[it appears co captain harold isn't as interested in the validity of your love lives as their love guru captain]

[satansuit]

[YEAH. good. you go.]

[scowling at his back.]

[inenochian]

[ still thinks their door is just in need of maintenance. ]

[satansuit]

[lmfao. they're not having the talk. but then, it'd be good to go over the basics in case castiel almost blows their cover again.]

Lubricant is for sex, not doors.


[that's all you're getting.]

[inenochian]

[ . ]

But what benefit does a flavor have for ana-

[satansuit]

[yeah, you'd better not finish that.]

It doesn't matter, Cas!

Just pretend you like it. [dying.]