86th post

[ladybirdshit]

in the mountain: There's a city waiting for you on the other side of the gate. It's quiet inside and you can tell that the city has seen better days. Now it's half empty and there are only few residents on the streets. They look familiar, don't they? In the middle of the plaza is a small pedestal and on top of that a dim crystal. It's not bright or impressive but clearly Important.

in the forest: Uhh trees?

[ mission: caaaaaaamp! ]

Comments

[rhymeswithdesign]

[smiles. he likes 'em charmed and a little ugly.]

I suppose it depends, doesn't it? There's monsters like our friend McDracula over there—

[nods their way.]

[oh god is the vampire hugging it out with the fairy princess? seriously, least frightening thing to ever go bump in the night.]

[cute though.]

—and then there's monsters like you and me, and I don't mind telling you which one I'd rather not meet in a dark alleyway.

[onsanityfair]

[ record screech. ]

I'm not a monster.

[ u best backpedal, son. ]

[rhymeswithdesign]

[constantine is known for many things, not chief among them his sense of self-preservation.]

Not a student of Nietzche? "He who fights monsters," et cetera? There's lots of kinds of monster, and most of us don't come with handy fangs to identify us.

[onsanityfair]

[ what the fuck is a Nee Chi? ]

I ain't real cozy with that ancient Chinese wisdom crowd.

[ grimaces at him and holds up both hands like stop. just stop.]

Whatever brand of freak you are, I'll look the other way so long as you've had all your shots. But don't act like you know me, 'cause you really don't.

[rhymeswithdesign]

I—

[don't even know how to respond to that. the fuck are they teaching in american high schools these days?]

[whatever.]

Trust me, love, I know from monsters. I see one whenever I shave.

[onsanityfair]

[ what did these hands say? they said stop.
no means no, dickhead. ]

Yeah, yeah, I get it, you got the "i'm dark and dangerous" vibe down. You're tortured, good on you, I'm sure it really enables you not being able to sleep at night. But you're never gonna be the most popular occultist in school if you keep projecting all your crap.

[rhymeswithdesign]

[oh sorry, that means something else in england.]

[no wait i just don't care.]

It's easy to be the most popular whatever when you're the only one left standing.

[curious head-tilt.]

I can see you're good at your job, but you really ought to consider going into a different line of work, darling. This one dead-ends.

[onsanityfair]

Yeah, that's a big fat hairy "Duh."

[ gestures theatrically with one of the hands now that it's able to stop No-ing at him. ]

"Into every generation, a Slayer is born?" Singular. The only way into this gig is inheritance, and there's no retirement plan.

[rhymeswithdesign]

Never heard of you. Maybe you should make a retirement plan?

[is this a paranoid delusion perhaps? he bets she gets on with dean like a house on fire.]

You don't seem like the type to kowtow to prophecy.

[onsanityfair]

[ oh my god you are so bad at knowing when to change a subject, pal. ]

It's not prophecy once it's already happened. [ what do they teach you in UK high school. ] I'm gonna die bloody, and I'm gonna die soon. But I don't waste time whining about it. I do what I wanna do, when I wanna do it, and I take what I want because I didn't choose this. I was Chosen.

[rhymeswithdesign]

[so bad at it.]

You don't look bloody dead to me, which means it isn't too late.

[onsanityfair]

Too late to what? Go into hiding and spend my life running away from things that go bump in the night? Been there, done that, got a bloodstain on the tee shirt. Way I see it, all the rough stuff is part of a fair trade because Destiny or whatever, I love being the Slayer. I wouldn't change it even if I could, and who got incarcerated and made you my father anyhow? Stow the sermons and the helpful suggestions.

[rhymeswithdesign]

[well that's a can of worms and no mistake.]

Nobody should be that enthusiastic about murdering people. Pretty sure that's what Nietzsche was talking about.

[onsanityfair]

[ now you've done it.

grabs his face with tiny teenager hand and all of the strength of a mess of monsters to yank him down to eyelevel with her. ]

[ stone cold. ]

Okay, I gave the Gandhi gig a try. Now I am gonna show you enthusiastic about murdering in about fifteen seconds, Connery, unless you shut your mouth. Capiche?

[rhymeswithdesign]

[the gandhi thing makes him laugh, a little too loudly for being right in a murderous teenager's face.]

You know Connery's not English, right?

[onsanityfair]

[ this would be exactly where he earns himself that black eye. ]