25th Page

[ladybirdcrap]

So everyone thank Bilbo for wrecking the ship. If you aren't too busy helping the girl on the bed, you can travel inward to a small village nestled in the woods not too far from the lake.

[Mission: Rest up.]

Comments

[frogface]

[cfdsljfs christ]

[jumps around to the sound of her voice. points gun at]

No thanks, a girl like you should watch her figure..

[iforgotthepassword]

[slams door shut between kitchen and living room and bolts it]

[bye ruby]

You'll hurt my feelings.

[butgrandma]

[oops]

[shoooot heeeeeeeeeeeeeer]

Owen!

[door banging, etc]

[frogface]

I'm fine!

[i can handle this]

[takes a look around briefly, keeping crazy cottage witch in sights]

Hansel and Gretel is a bit overplayed, innit? I'm not a kid, and look at me. Skin and bones. Drink and eat a ton of shit, I promise you I taste horrible.

[iforgotthepassword]

I don't want to eat you.

[facecreaks and takes a step toward him. her reflection catches on some pots and pans hanging over the island. shes an ugly bitch.]

I want you to love me.

[frogface]

[doesnt quite move just yet]

I'm sorry?

[sees ugly mc distortion and then stumbles a little into a hanging torso and then shifts out of the way as it swings meatily]

You want me to love you?

[iforgotthepassword]

Please, yes.

[keeps approaching. at least she only looks fug in reflections. reaches a hand out for his face]

[frogface]

[looks at hand.its a pretty hand. but the hand is filth and lies]

[okay owen, think. this is not a normal person. this is a cannibal and clearly something else. aliens disguise themselves as human all the time, this is no different. who knows what she's capable of, especially since she's capable of eating people. could a gun really do anything? that's the question innit. she could disarm him very easily if he tries anything, but if he waits. if he stockholms. maybe he can catch her off guard]

[peesalittle when she touches him]

[laughs nervously]

A pretty girl like you, I'm sure you've had no trouble finding suitors...

[maybe you shouldn't eat them. it's kind of a relationship killer, i hear]

[iforgotthepassword]

[slides up closer when he doesnt move away and leans in close enough to breathe on his face]

I bore easily. They come and...go.

[side eyes meat swingy carcasses]

[butgrandma]

[pressing ear to door outside]

[what am i supposed to do]

[looks around for something that would help while owens being molested]

[frogface]

[slowly tucks gun into the back of his pants. golly she's close]

[looking at swingy corpses. gross, man.]

Sounds familiar.

[you know without the killing bit]

I too fancy affairs that'll keep me on my toes.

[iforgotthepassword]

[tilts head and breathes monster babe breath across his mouth]

Then kiss me.

[butgrandma]

[i dont know where derek belle and hook went lets just assume she locked them in a shed while they were waiting around outside to get them out of the way]

[circles the cottage and pops head up into kitchen window]

[this is really scandalous and kind of gross]

[frogface]

[its really hard going further with this plan when he can see her grotesqueness from the corner of his eye]

[but ok]

[slips his other hand around her waist and tilts his head as he works up to it]

[frogface]

[DONT THROW OFF MY GROOVE RUBY]

[turns and flings her into the torsos as hard as he can while stumbles backwards towards the door]

[withdraws gun and opens fire]

[iforgotthepassword]

[shrieks that really horrible monster kind of shriek that sounds like nails on chalkboards and climbs over mangled corpse bodies to get to him. full of holes and pissed]

YOUR COMPANIONS LEFT YOU BEHIND TO DIE, THEY'RE LEAVING WITHOUT YOU AND I DIDN'T HAVE TO DO A THING

[wharrgarbls through blood]

[butgrandma]

[ow her ears. holds hands over them and shouts to get his attention. thru tha window lets go]

[frogface]

[jesus christ]

[hits the door and turns to fiddle when he spots her]

Looks like you're wrong.

[slides over to the window and fiddles it open. oh it's locked. unlocks it and yanks it open]

Lovely place, nice to meet you. Kindly fuck off.

[shoots her in her garbly siren head and slips through the window]

[iforgotthepassword]

[wailscreeching while they make their great escape]

[really loudly]

[butgrandma]

[oh my fucking god[

[grabs his hand to yank him through the window lets bounce out of here]

[frogface]

[WHY IS IT STILL ALIVE]

[cheeses it with]

See this is why we never stop to ask for directions!!

[butgrandma]

[slows down when they get a little bit away from the cottage]

Where are the others??

[THEY WERE RIGHT HERE]

[iforgotthepassword]

[watches from the window. still sadly wailing]

[im gonna get u u pigly sons of bitches]

[frogface]

Fucking fantastic.

[wipes lingering slime touch off cheek and looks back towards distant wailing]

[butgrandma]

Do you think they ran?

[everything smells like blood and siren and she can't tell where they went]

[either way they have about five seconds to decide if they're going to be heroes and stay to look or keep cheesing it because she's not in the window anymore]