175th page

[curseshit]

The rain stops eventually and you find yourself in a forest much younger than the one you just walked through. The moss is nearly gone and the sun shines through the branches.

They're not just any other trees. They're apple trees! Cute, right? Judging by the (somewhat) straight lines someone planted them. Underneath the trees you find baskets full of freshly-picked apples and since you can hear voices, the people who picked them aren't that far away. The map isn't showing any tracks of your next destination yet, so you might as well ask if they know of a B&B nearby.

[ mission: inspect the voices. ]

Comments

[dinkyroyal]

Yes, yes.

[ waves his hand. haniel paniel whatever. chews. ]

You know how it is, unknown beasts roam these forests. People say it is cursed and dangerous. No one goes there anymore. The only reason the apple trees were planted here is the soil. It's perfect.

[armedarchaeologist]

Right. These do seem to turn out really...

[wait...]

Wait, hold on, people say what is cursed and dangerous? The, the land? The orchard?

[dinkyroyal]

No, the old forest. Nothing wrong with the apples.

[ nooo way. ]

People say all kind of things, but I've seen them myself. The people who tried to enter the forest.

[armedarchaeologist]

Oh, you mean the—

[points back the way they came, back toward the hell forest. in a perfect world, this would be punctuated by thunder and lightning.]

Yeah that. Is not a good place. That place definitely qualifies as cursed and dangerous. Or at least it did, I don't know if it still does.

[dinkyroyal]

You went there?

[ slow zoom. ]

[armedarchaeologist]

Yeah, you know how I mentioned it'd been a rough trip? That's the way we came.

[wait was that a zoom should i not have said that

oh well too late now.]

[dinkyroyal]

Good grief!

[ you crayz. clutches on his apple. ]

What on earth possessed you to do that?

[armedarchaeologist]

[raised eyebrows. under breath:] Wow, that's a. Hell of an appropriate idiom.

We were following a road that led through it.

[dinkyroyal]

And you made it out alive!

I cannot believe this!

[ reaches to give him a hard pat on his back. ]

You, old friend, are either a fat liar or the bravest man I've met!

[armedarchaeologist]

[stumbles, mutters:] That's stretching it a little.

["alive" is anyway. but at least this guy seems genuinely friendly, for someone who opened the conversation shouting for peasants. that usually bodes so much worse.]

Thanks? I think? I mean I didn't really do all that much to help us through, it was mostly just walking and falling into holes for me.

[dinkyroyal]

Hold on a second, I have something just for you.

[ turns to shout at one of his men. ]

Eric, bring the apple pie! These people could really use it!

[armedarchaeologist]

[cringes a little at the mention of pie because he remembers the last time they went to a disney village and ate pie, but at least apples are a fruid and therefore less likely to be people.

hopefully.]

Oh, you don't have to...

[half-hearted protests because he's kind of hungry and after a week of venison jerky, pie sounds amazing.]

[dinkyroyal]

Bring glasses as well! One for everyone.

[ the man comes over with a big bottle of something that looks like cider. ]

Can you believe it, Evan, these people made it through the forest? It's unbelievable!

[ladybirdcrap]

It's Erik, sir...

[ takes glasses out of his basket and starts pouring drinks for the newcomers. ]

[armedarchaeologist]

Oh, wow, thank you, that's.

[they're so nice. why are they so nice. nobody's been this nice to them.

well ok, the circus people were pretty nice. it's just been a while.]

Thank you, Erik.

[wrong name sympathy.]

[dinkyroyal]

Everyone! Come over here, let's raise a glass to your bravery!

[ turns around and raises his voice, asking for everyone's attention. ]

[armedarchaeologist]

[embarrassedly raises the glass to about chest height. yay. there's way braver around. people who didn't fall into holes. people who actually solved the problem.]

[wolfsoul]

This is apple pie...?

[ smells the drink when he's handed a glass. it's made out of apple. ]

[armedarchaeologist]

[stares at graham like he doesn't know whether to pity him or... no yeah we're going with pity.]

Oh you poor man. No, that's, that's an occasionally alcoholic drink made from apples. Pie is... Pie is something different. That's cider.

[takes a sip if it seems like a culturally appropriate interval.]

[wolfsoul]

[ uh huh. watches him drink. ]

... Thanks, I could have almost sworn it was cake.

[ eventually takes a sip too. ]

[armedarchaeologist]

I can't actually tell if you're being sarcastic or not.

[but i hope you are.]

[wolfsoul]

Yeah, I was...

[ oh god does he try. ]

[armedarchaeologist]

Oh thank God.

[smiles apologetically. definitely relieved.]

Sorry, I meet a lot of aliens, I try not to assume anything necessarily means the same thing to anyone else, which... Can get condescending. Sorry.

[wolfsoul]

Aliens?

[ repeats him in disbelief. he already found out that most of these people are from wacky places but still. that's. just shakes his head. ]

[dices]

[ bg char eating apple ]